Dear Life: May Edition

Your 'Dear Life' submissions from the month of May

Dear-Life-done

Dear Life,

When I was in first year, the Cord-O-Scopes were one of the best parts of the Cord. Four years have passed since then, and they’ve become apointless, unfunny list of insults and are in fact worse than the stupidest psycho ex-lovers’ Dear Life contributions.

Sincerely,
Mars is passed out in the frat house and your penis is in retrograde.

Dear Life,

Why is Little Bones by The Tragically Hip such a good song?

Sincerely,
Happy Hour is here.

Dear SBE,

There are a lot of things I love about SBE. This whole core thing, however, is not one of them. I don’t see how it’s helpful at all. Let the students CHOOSE!

Sincerely,
Love being a student of SBE, hate core

Dear Laurier,
As a graduate of your ”great” academic institution I wonder daily about how I got sucked into your value proposition pre-Laurier days.
In the real world (not university) we/consumers pay for products and services, of which we expect to receive relative value for the price we pay.

Ex. 50Litres of gas = $60 (roughly)
Hair Cut = $30
Pizza Delivery = $20
Monthly Cable = $120

HOWEVER, I wonder, daily, if Laurier offered me the true value I expected for the price of their services( tuition, text books, misc. etc).Every day my conclusion becomes clearer: I traded $50,000 cash over four years for great parties, awesome people, and a fucking terrible education.
Not only will I not get my $50,000 back, or the value for it. I will never get the time I spent sitting through bull shit communications classes back.

How is it that an ENTIRE discipline and department or entity can sustain itself financially when students and parents pay far more than its true value?
I heavily defended communications studies as a student, primarily against my science and business friends. I regrettably take back everything I said in its defence.
Sincerely,
Laurier Communications is a JOKE

Dear Life,
Are Wilfrid Laurier Professors working on behalf of the NDP and/or Liberal Party of Ontario?
To all you professors who puked your lefty, rhetorical vomit onto hundreds of students a semester (including myself) I can now laugh. Laugh because your protectionist ideoligies rhetoric regarding academic institutions and its processess are nothing more than an expression of insecurity as you know full well you have zero value in the real world. IE PRIVATE SECTOR.
Laurier Arts operates like an over inflated, out of touch, over spending government.
Sincerely,
the Conservative

Dear Life,
The new mylearningspace really does look beautiful, but unfortunately, it really doesn’t seem to work very well. I would very much appreciate it, Life, if you didn’t make such jokes at our expense!
Sincerely,
Yet another frustrated student.

Dear Life,
How the fuck did Community get a fifth season? It almost gets cancelled during its third season when it was still good, but now that it’s easily the worst show on television it gets renewed?
Sincerely,
Fuck you, NBC

Dear Life,
Why must Jay and Dan leave TSN? Not cool.
Sincerely,
You’re an embarrassment to the department, Bobrovsky

Dear Life,
If hip-hop mogul Pharell married comedian Will Ferrell and then divorced him and remarried former Bullseye, Colin Farrel but kept Will’s last name, could we then call him Pharrell Ferrell-Farell??
Sincerely,
Summer is boring

Dear Life,
Who would win in a fight: Kirsten Dunst or an angry duck??
Sincerely,
Summer is still boring

Dear Life,
What’s it like to support the home team that does well in the playoffs.
Sincerely,
Toronto Fans

Dear Life,
Please remind Toronto that they have me to thank for this playoff run.
Sincerely,
Brian Burke

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